WYRD 101

It’s really, really simple: Make a good product, and market it properly, and people will come to see what you have. If they like it, they’ll buy it. If they REALLY like it, they’ll tell friends. That’s pretty much a constant no matter what it is you’re selling, right? I don’t care if it’s a computer, a car, or if you’re pimping yourself out.

But when it comes to blogging for profit, or social media for profit, or podcasting for profit, somehow it’s different.

I have here a series of books on the subject of podcasting and blogging. Two of them are in the Dummies series, one is by a person who is a Professional Blogger, one by a professional podcaster, and one is a guide to blogging by a very big website, and I swear to you each one of them drank from the same jug of Kool-Aid.

In ever single case, all roads lead to some kind of keyword search on Google to “Find Your Niche”.

In this practice, you look at what Google Ads are serving based on those keywords, and from that you can see if your blog–whatever it is–is even remotely profitable. It all seems to me to be only once removed from the Google Adsense cam that keeps running all over the internet where you can EARN BAJILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN JUST A HALF HOUR OF TIME IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME. Well, these “experts” certainly make a cubic assload of money by regurgitating that same idea over and over. With the exception of the book from the Very Big Website, all these other jackballs seem to sell just this idea, repackaged and dressed up for whatever the new “it” thing is now. Is it blogging? Podcasting? Tweeting? Social Media?

I can HELP you make your venture profitable, all you have to do is buy MY crap, which is a retelling of the way I learned it from this other guy that you should know about, and hey, he has this OTHER AMAZING TOOL that you can use to make even more money from your blogpodtwaddlement. Follow us on Twitter! Sign up for our mailing list! We’ve got all sorts of stuff for what ails ya!

I have a brilliant, simple, painfully obvious idea. How about instead of finding out the difference in CPM’s between “nostril inhalers” and “left nostril inhalers”, and calculating it’s profitability…why don’t we try writing?

I’m convinced that it’s all some kind of trickery, and snake oil salesmenship. Sure, it’s made these so called “social media” experts a lot of money, but so far as I can tell, their only play in the playbook is that they get to call themselves “social media experts”, or “blogging pros”, or “podcasting gurus”. There’s no provenance on how they got there, they just ARE. Which tells me, frankly, they’re not. They’re con men with a system that somehow, after 10 or more years, still has people buying in. More frustrating to me is that these are the LEGIT guys. The ones who will at least tell you that there’s more involved than filling out three lines of copy to some CLickBank landing page that NOONE will ever buy anything from.

Besides all of this, I ask one very simple question. Where’s the proof that any of what you say actually works? From you so called experts, all the way down to the ClickBank Gutter Trash. There’s the image you throw up…and THEN there’s proof. All I see is image.

I challenge one of you so called experts–any one of you–start a blog in a new niche market you’ve never written in before under some assumed name that no one could trace back to you, and with NOTHING but your “proven system”…show your work. Stop showing us cars and mansions and women because that’s nothing but staging.

Show your work. Prove it.

I have a better idea. I’m going to write and produce a blog and a show. I’m going to make something that people might find entertaining. I’m going to market it as aggressively as I can. I’m going to keep the advertising down to a minimum for one fund….and I’m going to ask for listener support which will go into a separate fund. More on that in a later post.

And then, I’m going to leave it to the surfer, the searcher, and the consumer of content to decide if I’m worth their time. If they decide that I am, they’ll come back, and hopefully, they’ll tell a friend or two. That’s a pageview earned because of a good product, not a “proven system”

I’ll take my way over yours, thanks.

If there was one thing that my parents taught me about how to find your place in the world, it can be summed up in one sentence: Find a hole, and fill it.

To be truthful, I lost that mantra over time, lost in a sea of neckties and empty suits, in 20 years of call centers, and customer service. In schedules, and call volume forecasts. The truth is, anyone who can type can do that. Anyone who knows how to work an Excel spreadsheet or a Filemaker Database can do that. And I did.

Well. But it wasn’t the shovel I was born with, nor was it the hole I found. That tool was thrust into my hand, and I was pointed towards that hole, and I slaved over it like Stanley Yelnats for more than a lifetime.

All the while, the small voice in my head nagged at me. This is not what you were meant to do, it said.

This is not your purpose. Not your hole.

I have put that shovel down, and I am determined that no matter how golden that handle is, no matter how inviting that hole might be, I will never dig that way again. For as long as I can remember, all I have ever wanted to do was entertain people. I’ve tried my hand at acting on stage. I’ve done standup. I’ve written on acres and acres of dead trees, and of course, I make funny noises that people find pleasing.

You’ve heard me say this many times, and you’ll enjoy hearing it in the future: I was internet radio before it was cool to be internet radio. I’ve been banging these bits and bytes since 1994. I’ve been doing this for 15 years now because I love it. I worked in radio, riding a board for minimum wage, to writing and producing for a morning show, to having my own show on a rinky dink peanut shucking station in Suffolk for shit money because radio was the first love I ever had. Before it got corrupted by people who haven’t a clue about what makes radio fucking MAGICAL.

I intend–I have always intended–to bring that magic here. A little bit at a time. I do 40 minutes to an hour at a time, and I’m grateful for every single one of you who listen, and those of you who support us through the shills, or the tip jar. I want to give you more. And now, I’m going to give it to you.

In the previous post, I told you that we’re awaiting approval for the WYRD 101 iPhone App. I would LOVE to put a similar App in the Android market, and in Blackberry App world (Of course Blackberry, I LIVE on my Crackberry). Now for the rest of the story.

I made my first New Year’s Resolution this year. I resolved to fix what was broken in my life, and stop making excuses for why I’m not where I want to be. If I spent half the energy making excellence instead of excuses, I’d be well on my way there.

I got off the free ride that is Mevio, and pulled the trigger on a big boy podcast delivery network–Libsyn. We have our iPhone app as part of that transition.

I got off the cut rate web hosting service we were with–Globat–and we’re now with Hostgator.

I dropped the Left Of Center Name, and we got back to where I should have always been. WYRD 101.

On a personal note, I set in motion the process to fix what was broken with me physically. We’re recovering from that now, and I look forward to being a part of the outside world again with not having to be embarrassed about my appearance anymore.

And now, we come to the final part. The hole, and my shovel. What am I going to do?

Well, if you look around at the podosphere, you see many things, but what you do not see…what just isn’t there, is a Morning Radio Show for the Internet. Of course there are Terrestrial Shows that make themselves available as a podcast, but there is not now, nor has there ever been a show that was conceived, written, and delivered as a Morning Show for the Webernets. I don’t believe anyone has even tried.

Well, I believe I have found myself a hole, folks.

In the next post, I’ll tell you how it’s going to work, how your support will help, and what being a member of the SAS will get you once the Juggernaut gets going.

Yes, I’m hurting. A lot. Nights are worse than daytime, for some really screwy reason, and first thing in the morning is worst of all. Now that we have the teeth thing taken care of…some site business.

Last Friday, before we went down, we submitted our application for a WYRD 101 iPhone App to the iTunes App Store. We should know something soon. Pending approval, it will have a price of $1.99. Of course, in addition to being able to stream and/or download the most recent episodes of WYRD 101, you’ll have one touch access to the Twitter feed, the Nine Line, the Facebook Fan Page, and to email the show right from your iPhone or iPod Touch. The Pungoverse Wallpaper is also yours to keep,and you can download it right to your device to use as your own wallpaper. I have it on mine, and I think it’s made of awesome. Folks who support WYRD 101 by purchasing the WYRD 101 App will also get The Weekly Pungonian, a new monologue from one of the Pungonians every week. So you’ll be able to keep up with Roy hastings, or MC Big Nickel, or Chip Fitchett…or as many voices I have in my head at one time.

Finally, and we’re still working this part out, but we have the ability to include pdf files in the app, and I believe we’ll include at some point a weekly Pungo Pucayune. There are some details left to work out on that, not the least of which is getting Ellie to agree to it.

I’ll give you the link as soon as it’s approved, and humbly ask for your support. It’s going to become vitally important soon. I’ll tell you why in the next update.

–Guest Post by 3.14th District  Rep. Jerry “Jer” Bumfiddle (I-Pungo)

As the duly elected representative to the 3.14th Congressional District of Virginia, occasionally I feel obligated to tell my constituents about a breakthrough piece of legislation that’s making it’s way through Congress.  As you may be aware, these days it’s hard to get anything through Congress, since both sides are just intent on hurling nothing but talking points and venom at each other.  I dare say on one particular occasion, they were catapulting what I thought were dead cats at each other, but I could be wrong.

I’m glad to report that one stellar piece of legislation has made it through the hallowed halls of Capitol Hill today, and it awaits President Obama’s signature as we speak.  This bipartisan bill is historic in that it guarantees that it will be the last bipartisan bill to make it’s way through the legislative process.  Which is to say, when the president signs this bill into law, we will be required never to cooperate with each other ever again.

Ever.  Liberating, isn’t it?

As a matter of fact, the only person to vote against the bill in the Senate was Olympia Snowe.  I think she just does it now to piss off the rest of us.  Just the other day she came in and asked McConnell what was going to be served at the Caucus Lunch the other day, and OF COURSE she walked in with Chipotle Grill, and smiled sweetly as she unbagged it and dove right in.

I’m telling you, whatever the hell killed her whole damn family should have been just a teeny bit more contagious.  Just a teeny bit.  It should have been a slow, airborne, wasting disease.  Oh, God, I hate that woman.   What the hell is it with people that can’t say “Hey, my staffer’s making a run, want anything?”

What a hag.

Anyway, the good news is that I’m never going to have to agree with Dennis Kucinich ever again.  Hell, I’m never even going to have to LISTEN to him rail on and on about what George Friggin’ Noory said on Coast To Coast Am anymore.   I can just glass over, nod like I’m actually listening, and imagine that I’m actually speaking to his incredibly hot wife about…well, who cares, really?  WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT, so long as it isn’t in his nasal, migraine inducing voice.

There’s going to be a lot of time for this kind of time-wasting, now that we’ve practically agreed that no legislation will even make it out of committee from now on.  When’s my tee time?  It’s not like I have to make it to the floor for a vote until….EVER.

You’re Welcome.

–Hannah Weatherington, guest posting for WYRD 101.

You know, when you spend a lot of time worrying and fretting over your tribe (and let’s be honest, I often finding myself up in the middle of the night pacing the floor in the bedroom to the point that I’ve worn a groove in the expensive hardwood floor. Well, that and my Hubby actually sleeps in his mancave), you don’t have a lot of time to take up a special cause that doesn’t involve your kidlets. I’m not a political person. Unless my Hubby is, of course, and in the case of health care reform, my Hubby is hopping mad. So, I am too!

I’m mad because he came home and said the government wants to do something with Bill that they usually only do when Bill wants money. I had no idea that Bill Clinton was still running Washington! I thought they’d recruited this handsome man, and that he was doing the job pending the approval of his Green Card. You’d have to ask my husband, he’s much more up to speed on these things than I am. But, he’s so upset that even my Special Hawaiian Pizza that he loves so very much didn’t cheer him up!

Now, I have to be really honest with you, sometimes when my man starts ranting, there’s a point when it all becomes white noise until the flame of his Zippo Lighter dances across one of my nipples, and then I focus right back in on it. So, as you might imagine, I lost a little bit of why Sir was mad for a minute. What I can tell you is what I heard when the endorphins kicked back in, and that there are a lot of people like Hubby and I that sometimes engage in alternative sexual acts that don’t think we need health care. Good for us, I say!

I mean, sometimes (and by sometimes I mean twice a day) I need a little Mother’s Little Helper, and that comes by way of Hubby’s job. So, I don’t need whatever it is that Osama is trying to push down our throats, unless he means to take my happy pills away. So, help me if he does, there’s going to be one pissed off little mama–dressed in leather and studs, since the kids will be in bed–and then it’s going to get personal. Or, it would, if i didn’t have laundry, and shopping, and piano lessons. These people must not have kids!

Of course, I have children. You can tell I do, because I have cute little turtle stickers on the back of the Highlander for each. Which reminds me, I really must write to Mr. Toyoda about whether he meant to murder my little turtles or not. So, here’s what I did: After Hubby went to sleep, I snuck back downstairs and turned on Fox News. Well, really, all I did was turn on the TV, since I think he can control the space station on that thing he keeps on the end table, and that cute Sean Hannity was on talking about how the Senate was going to try to get back together over this health care bill, and he said that if the Senate tried to reconcile, it would be the worst thing that could ever happen. Sean wanted all these protestors to call their Senators and tell them we don’t need health care, and I say “Good for you!”

We don’t need health care! My kids and I don’t need health care, because my husband’s job takes care of all of it for us. But I don’t understand why Sean Hannity wants the Senate to divorce. All the same, I want to support the folks protesting health care that pushed by a president that may not be here next week if his visa doesn’t come through. I suppose if we gum up the works for a couple of weeks, maybe a month, nothing will get done, we’ll forget all about it, and we can get back to the stuff that really matters, like tax cuts. Mr. Man says that’s important, so I guess it is.

I want to support these protestors, but I just don’t have the time. So…is there a sticker or a ribbon, or something? I still have a spot on the back of my Toyota Tank of Speeding Death that isn’t covered by Bible Quotes, Jeff Gordon, or my cute little turtles.

I took the Nickelback sticker off. Because…well…really.